Airport security

Airport security

You can suppress and bully the
citizens for only so long before they revolt. I sense a revolution in the air but this time its not
coming from angry communists, or those on the hard left, or the whining 1% who
keep complaining that lifes not fair.
This revolution is coming from
the frustrated traveling public who have for too long been subjected to
meaningless airport security checks by staff who are all too often surly and
overly authoritarian in their approach.
I have learned its best to
navigate this institutional stupidity by a steely resolve to say nothing, avoid
eye contact and walk straight ahead; do absolutely nothing to attract
attention.Sometimes it
works.Most recently I was following
this procedure to the letter when just prior to walking through the scanner a
uniformed voice across the isle asked, “what have you got in your pockets?”Looking up, I said, “nothing that
is going to set the scanner off”.“Show me.”Slowly reaching into my pocket I
retrieved a somewhat used and crumpled handkerchief, which I proceeded to show
my inquisitor in some detail until he tersely instructed me to “move on”.I moved on and through the
scanning device that remained blissfully silent. However I must have breached an unspoken protocol by walking
through with my hands in my pockets, probably stuffing the handkerchief back
into position.A large female guard on the other
side of the scanner made a motion like a duck at me, wordlessly flapping her
elbows. I have discovered from
past experience that it does not pay to question the actions of these people,
you simply behave as if this is perfectly normal, and just what you expected to
happen.So, by way of an empathetic
gesture, and as she was standing blocking my way, I reciprocated by flapping my
elbows to her, hoping that this was not a form of mating ritual unique to
airport security staff.She responded by wordlessly
flapping more vigorously than before and by the look on her face I intuited
that it was not intimacy she was seeking. But what should I do, apparently I was
supposed to know but never having been subject to this ritual before, and I
have traveled regularly, I decided that once again mirroring her actions would
be the best thing to do.It wasnt.“Get your hands out of your
pockets!” she bellowed.I did, still clutching my
decidedly used and now slightly sweaty hanky.This action seemed to partially
mollify her, and I was allowed to pass with all of my limbs intact, and thank
God, minus the rubber glove inspection.
This is a risk Im always conscious of, and an experience Im keen to
avoid. Only my doctor gets to
check my prostate, thank you.Not so fortunate was the mother
of Aaliyah Alty, a young girl who turns 2 next month, and who
suffers from severe quadriplegic cerebral palsy. Auckland Airport security
decided that the equipment she needed to breath was actually a bomb, and
created a fuss.Oh, there have been the usual apologies issued by fawning senior management, none of whom I suspect ever
use the services they have inflicted upon the rest of us. If they did, I'm confident they would have been revised a long time ago.But just in case you think I am
someone who just likes to opine or even whine about these things – I have a
solution. Just as we have police
checks for those who want to obtain a gun license, how about we provide the
opportunity to obtain a police checked
travel license. Ok, I know its
more bureaucracy, but for this ONE TIME inconvenience, you could flash your
card at a scanner, immediately pass through and never again be subjected to
the indignity of Airport security scanning again, at least for internal flights.I know, too easy.However, something has to change,
or before long travelers may start to take matters into their own hands, and
the very system that was set up to avoid trouble will become the cause of
it. Most of those who use it regularly already know that it has caused many more problems, humiliation, and
inconvenience to the traveling public than can be reasonably justified.Furthermore, as has been exampled
overseas many times, a determined terrorist can easily by pass the
security checks anyway. The underwear
bomber and the shoe bomber are just two examples.
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mso-ansi-language:EN-US;}Note: For those in authority who may read this blog, I do not
advocate violence or revolution of any kind for any reason. No doubt the staff at airport security
are individually all very nice people and I wish them well.